Max gets a job
by Fang's penpal
Summary: Max is forced to get a job to fix her social skills, but finds it difficult adjusting. Hilarity may or may not ensue.


**I just felt like writing, and I figured this'd be something quick. **

"God, Gazzy, do you do anything but watch Tv all day?" I inquired harshly as the Gasman lay on his stomach, transfixed on the Television.

"Nah." He said indignantly. "I build bombs too."

"And he farts a lot." Iggy offered helpfully from the kitchen where he was preparing a meal.

"God, don't remind me." I responded. "Why don't you ever read?"

"Books are so… wordy." Gazzy protested.

"Yea, that's because they're books, Gazzy." I snapped. "Otherwise they'd be just pieces of paper."

"What's got you all cranky?" Fang asked, hopping over the back of our couch and falling into the seat.

"I… I have to get a job." I admitted, looking at my shoes.

Everyone whooped and laughed, to which my face turned bright red. "What, don't think I can do it?" I shouted defensively.

Nudge started to try and justify the laughing outburst. "It's just, your people skills are..."

"Terrible." Fang offered.

"Horrendous." Iggy supplied.

"Stinkier than one of my farts on burrito day." The Gasman proposed.

"You just don't work well with others." Angel stated plainly.

"Which is exactly why I need a job." I reasoned. "This Flock is going through some tough times, and I need to have the emotional control and mental reasoning to keep it together."

"Sure, Max, and when you get fired for punching a women for taking to long to find a coupon, we'll be back to welcome you with open arms." Fang said, mock supportively.

"You all suck." I responded flatly, and launched myself out a window, head straight for town.

_**Several Minutes Later**_

I had landed a job interview at Costco, but I was not looking forward to the one on one time with my (hopefully) future employer.

"Hi, Max. I'm Julie" The woman who was interviewing me beamed as I sat down. "How are you today? Hopefully the chilly weather hasn't gotten you down!"

"Chilly weather?" I responded, scoffing at her insignificant quarrel with Mother Nature. "Lady, I was raised in a dog crate and had to claw my way out. I fought things so menacing and incredibly horrendous that would make Chuck Norris shake in his boots. CHUCK NORRIS. Chilly weather is nothing."

"Uhm… ok." Julie said, taken aback at my response.

I realized that my answer sounded a bit braggy, so I went silent until the next question.

"Ok, well then, what qualities do you have that can put you above the rest?" Julie asked.

I tried to swallow my pride, but ended up spewing it all over the poor women. My pride, that is.

"You're kidding right? I have freaking wings. I can freaking fly. Not to mention the impeccable strength, the raptor vision, the dashing good looks. I have the whole package, lady."

"…Right." She responded. "How about your education?"

"No formal education." I responded. "But I have been taught the meaning of PAIN several times. Does that count?"

"Actually, you know what?" Julie said quickly "I think this interview is over. I'll contact you if you got the job, Max. Thanks for your time." She proceeded to hustle out of the room quickly.

I left the store and flew home, throwing my jacket on the floor as I entered the door.

"Just for your information, the interview went amazingly. She loved me." I bluffed, hoping the Flock would buy it.

"We'll see about thaaat." Iggy said mockingly, pulling a hidden tape recorder out of my coat.

"IGGY? YOU BUGGED ME?" I was furious, partially because they would soon find out the truth.

About two minutes later, the whole Flock was practically rolling on the floor laughing at my unfortunate interview.

"Oh my god, Max." Total exclaimed. "I have better manners, and I'm a dog!"

"Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!" I exclaimed.

"It's all right, Max." Fang came over and gave me a hug. "At least you didn't do anything that'd frighten Chuck Norris." I pushed him away and stormed into my room.

"I have to work on my people skills." I said into my pillow after I had thrown myself onto my bed. "And I'm sure the Flock would be more than happy to volunteer and give me an attitude makeover." I grinned evilly.

**All done. Hope you enjoyed.**

**Split Personality: I know I didn't. Your writing is terrible.**

**You all ways have to have the last word, don't you?**

**Split Personality: Yep. DON'T REVIEW, it only encourages him.**


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